What are the rich, powerful, and famous like talking about these days? How many times they shower, apparently.
Unless you have been living under a rock, you must have noticed that all celebrities do these days is talk about their bathing habits. (I suppose performative allyship with regards to Afghanistan is too much work.)
Jake Gyllenhaal told Vanity Fair: “There’s a whole world of not bathing that is also really helpful for skin maintenance.” Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis have said they only bath their kids when they’re dirty, which Kristen Bell and Dax Shepherd agree with. (In response to the criticism, Ashton and Mila now started washing their progeny four times a week, while Kristen and Dax remain resolute in the anti-bathed children camp: “They smell like vinegar.”)
In contrast, the pro-bathers have also claimed their cleanliness. Dwayne Johnson (The Rock) showers three times a day! Chris Evans says he is a very clean person. According to Aquaman, he is Aquaman, so he’s always clean.
It’s reached such fevered heights that some people have wondered about some sort of secret bathing conspiracy. Are we due in for a global water shortage reckoning, that’s why the people we “supposedly” look up to are now in the business of telling us it’s ok to be a little dirty? If so this is a little short-sighted because I might listen to Jake Gyllenhaal, but Dax Shepherd!?
It had me thinking though, how else do I make this discourse a little more demented? Ah, yes, I thought, let’s drag K-pop idols into it.
In this deep dive, I found a couple of interesting results. Here’s what you should know before I proceed. Idol groups all live together: it’s a good way to foster togetherness (and for entertainment agencies to save money).
Most groups have more than five members, which makes for some interesting stories, because everyone knows each other’s habits. Sometimes, members are quick showerers, because they’re trying to save time. Sometimes, they might just be gross. Sometimes, they’re scared of ghosts.
Below, a list of K-pop idols/groups, and their showering habits.
Super Junior happens to be those huge numbered groups. During their pre-debut days, they played games to see who was the fastest shower, which meant cramming everyone into the bathroom, standing naked, to see who won. Shindong won.
According to the world’s greatest girl group, the youngest member, Seohyun, takes the longest. She claims it’s because she’s meticulous, but according to them, “she only showers with one hand.”
If there’s anything EXO like doing, other than making you cry with the sound of their vocals, it’s talking about showers. Seriously, this group has the most shower stories. Member Baekhyun likes showering with his members because it allows him to “get closer with his members.” (Because of this, he also knows who has the best body).
According to this early BTS clip, Jimin used to shower with his bandana on, and leave it lying around the bathroom. It must have done something, because now BTS are the world’s biggest boyband. Moral of the story: indulge in strange bathroom habits. You might be nominated for a Grammy, too!
NCT has 23 members! Which means they must have an entire treasure trove of showering stories. However, all 23 of them don’t live together (can you imagine), they’re split up into groups.
But there’s still a wealth of information when it comes to their habits. Member Chenle, in particular is the one idol who I’ve found who admits he doesn’t shower to save water. We love an environmentally conscious king!
However, Chenle does have the propensity to say a lot of things with a completely straight face, so I wouldn’t take this at face value. Hopefully.
To end, here is an absolutely beautiful man talking about his showering habits:
Yes, I too, cannot believe I get paid to write articles like these.